Whether you tell yourself, "I don’t belong here" or you constantly think, "I’m not good enough" negative self-talk affects how you feel and how you behave. In fact, the conversations you have with yourself often turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For example, imagine someone who thinks, "I don’t have what it takes to start my own business.” To cope with this self-doubt, this person avoids really chasing their dreams and limits the opportunities presented to them.
Negative self-talk used to make up 90% of my inner dialogue. I’d say things to myself like “Why do I think I can be an entrepreneur,” “I will never be successful,” and “I always make mistakes.”
Your internal dialogue is continuous and does not shut off. Your internal dialogue is a part of you and shapes how you think, how you act, and how you see the world. While your internal dialogue is always running you can learn to ignore the negative self-talk. You can distract yourself from it or shut it out. Instead, you can choose to listen to only the good stuff and shift your dialogue from bad to good when you’re in a rut. By being in touch with yourself, you are capable of being confident in how you choose to live your life.
My inner dialogue was the biggest obstacle I had to overcome at the beginning of my entrepreneurial career.
Over the years, I’ve developed a more productive inner dialogue that helps me build the mental muscle I need to create positive change. How have I built up this mental muscle? Grace and space.
Give yourself the space to allow yourself to breathe, to feel what you feel, to need what you need, and to not apologize for it.
Giving yourself space means you can explore life without the pressures and judgments that others may impose. Having time to yourself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, space lets you focus on yourself.
Giving yourself space can also help you catch negative self-talk. We’ve all been conditioned to be hard on ourselves which consequently means we often give ourselves little room to mess up or make mistakes. Taking some space can help you refocus your thoughts and move on.
And give yourself the grace to fill your own needs, and to take the time, energy, and resources to bring whatever it is you need into that moment.
Giving yourself grace allows you to change your internal narrative– for the better. When we give ourselves grace, we can forgive ourselves for being human and making mistakes (as everyone does). You deserve to give yourself the same grace that you give your best friends and loved ones.
It may be a cliche catchphrase, but it's one we should start taking to heart -- the times when you need grace most are the times when you're least likely to give it to yourself.
Here are 3 ways to implement grace & space in your daily life:
I encourage you to really carve out time in your week to start implementing this practice into your daily life. Like any other mental exercise or practice, it takes time to learn how to really give yourself grace and space. At first, you will probably find it difficult. As time goes on, it will feel much more natural.